Tuesday, March 4, 2014


Jane’s daughter spoke up and said:  “Who was that you were talking to on the phone?”  Jane said it was her friend Breeze. “What kind of a name is Breeze, Mom?” Jane said it was a name that brought happiness to her. She went on to explain that when she was young she had a girlfriend who was very special. Her real name was Olga and she was always saying: “Who names their kid Olga? It sounds like something someone growls out when they are under some sort of difficulty.” Jane laughed and said: “What would you like me to call you?”  Olga said, “Oh, I don’t know, but I could use a breath of fresh air.” Jane laughed and said, “That would be a breeze if you weren’t so particular.” She looked at me and said, “I like the name.”  “What name? I didn’t give you a name,” Jane said. “Oh yes you did, Jane, and it suits me just fine.” “What name?” I said a little louder. “Why, Breeze, of course. It suits me fine for you’re all the time saying I breeze in and out of here hardly landing long enough to say ‘Howdy’ on a good day.” I laughed and said, “Breeze it is then.”

The nickname stuck and everyone started to call her Breeze. Breeze could shake the earth with her independence for she was a free spirit that pushed the boundaries. Not wicked boundaries, but the boundaries of curiosity and wonder. She had a way of delving into something that was never exhausted until everything was turned over a couple of times.

Jane’s daughter encouraged her mom to tell the whole story. “Alright,” Jane said, and then continued.

“Breeze always lit up when there was a challenge to conventional thinking but still had the common sense that always brought her to weigh everything to make the solution or idea stand on merit and truth. Her standard always brought her friends but none so close as me.  I was the friend to be trusted and the optimist to make it enjoyable but with a touch of zaniest humor. I had been watching Breeze and instinctively knew something was a foot. Our friendship gave us access to mood swings and details of each other’s character so we could see a change or recognize something different.”

Well there was something in the wind alright as Breeze was antsy and restless which usually meant an idea had formed and the trail to adventure was just ahead.

I got the call that Saturday morning and couldn’t get out of the house fast enough to get the details from Breeze. Breeze had been fuming for a while about a girls’ club who was from the rich side of the tracks. They had moved in on us rubes and caught couple of our friends and made fun of them about their dress, their manners and said they were going to show us how those who have more class deal with those who have not. They worked the two girls over by spraying their clothing with sparkly paint. Then they glued strips of cloth onto their clothing. They brought a small horse drawn cart filled with rotten vegetables and made the two girls haul it down the main street of the town. Before the cops came they disappeared with the cart and upon leaving, pelted the two girls with tomatoes. One last insult was hurled at the two girls by hanging signs on them reading: ‘Losers.’ The two girls hurried away before the police came but they had fire in their eyes.

The two girls knew who their antagonists were but there was only one thought on their minds. ‘Our day is coming.’ The word spread and it wasn’t long before Breeze had a plan. She told me all about it. We could hardly wait until Breeze got our pals together and laid it out for them.

The gathering was at my place as my folks were on a trip.  It was lively, planned and between snacks each girl relished her part and could hardly wait to get started. Breeze said she would get the word out when the time was ripe. The call came and the girls were to meet at the High School yard late Friday afternoon. Well, we went over the plan several times and now they were to wait for the signal to start the ball rolling.

All the ten girls showed up the next day, which was Saturday, and they started off. Breeze had discovered there was a gathering at the country club of these spoilers and they would be dressed in their night’s finest. Breeze had explained to her Dad the whole situation and he had agreed to help. It seemed her Dad had a run in with some them that left a bad taste in his mouth. He would do what he could but no one was to know of his involvement. Breeze agreed and her Dad made sure she had her driver’s license as well as the designated driver for the other vehicle. She checked with her pals to be certain they had brought the things she requested and asked if everyone knew their part. They did and it was time to go. All ten of them had uniforms where they had sewed on the name Audrey’s Catering. A service truck was provided by Breeze’s Dad along with a van so there would be enough room for everyone.


The club was laid out with an entrance at the back where there was a delivery door. They would bring in boxes of catering supplies, meaning on the surface, but the real supplies would be hidden under them. The two girls who were the ones who had been worked over would identify the ten girls who had humiliated them. They had to be careful not to run afoul of the regular staff   preparing the meal. Breeze had worked it in so that staff was led to believe that the Audrey’s Caterers were to be a surprise from some of the club members for their kids. Breezes dad helped to arrange with the staff for the surprise by getting a couple friends who were actors to play the part of dignified parents. The vehicle arrived exactly at 6:30 Pm. The staff understood the caterers would need only the desert dishes on the table.

The idea was to look busy and act like a crew of professionals which was exactly how they rehearsed it. The 10 highbrow girls would be with their beaus and be sitting down to a meal. Timing was the key as the real caterers would be handling the meal but the dessert would be the surprise as long as the ten girls stayed out of sight. They had worked out a side room with the staff where the 10 girls were placed and where they could move quickly to get their special dessert to the high toned ten. They had already taken the catering supplies they had hidden the special dessert under and taken them out to their truck .Now they waited. Lids were loosened on the pails. They checked the contents carefully:  Plastic pails of sauerkraut and onions in a mix of tomato soup. One more ingredient was on the side -- pails of flour. When the signal came they would march out and stand by the ten women and it had to be timed so as not to interfere with the regular catering company’s placement of their desserts.  They knew that the people at the table would wonder what was going on but not be alarmed until things started to happen. The signal came and each wrong side of the track girl dumped the contents of her pail in a hurried fashion.  The screams and curses of the ten on the right side of the tracks howling in dismay, sputtering and coughing and spitting while the slime of the mix washed over their faces. Each minute of disgust brought the hotsy totsy’s to tears and the not so hotsy totsy’s to howling laughter. Total chaos and revulsion took over as big shot steaming girls uttered not so lady like comments. Shouts of you blankety,blankety &8//%??!!** filled the room as the gang of ten get even girls fled to their catering vehicles. It was like a chorus of wild hysteria of glee and words like – “Those drowned rats are so sticky and messy they won’t be able to see straight for a week.”

Breeze could hardly drive as the laughter that started filled us with wild eyed glee.  The comments could not have been sweeter to our ears. It was the same in the van and how sweet it was.

The escape plan was working and now we had to hide the evidence.  First, the uniforms had the words of Audrey’s Catering taken off. Just as quickly, the uniforms were put in the wash. Secondly, all of the material used was washed up and cleaned and put away. The alibis had been carefully worked out and each girl had arranged ahead of time with other friends to have been with them during that evening. The service truck was delivered to Breezes’ Dad’s friend after the temporary sign was washed off. The clean uniforms were taken back to a friend who had a supply business in another town. Breezes’ dad did his part.  The uniforms, vehicles and supplies he obtained which were so handy.  Oh Yeh! The final insult was when the girls left a sign on the table which read. ‘WELCOME TO SNOBVILLE.’

The ten girls who pulled off the prank had one other defense. Each girl was to wear her hair differently and alter her facial appearance just slightly. It seemed to have worked for the snobs had a hard time describing what these girls looked like. The police were trying not to laugh but when they showed up and saw the state of things.  They could not get the questions out such as: ‘They poured what over you?’  ‘Let’s see,’ said the officer, ‘Sauerkraut, onions, tomato soup and, what was that last ingredient? Flour? Boy, that is some paste. I mean, some kind of mixture. You say they left a sign. Where is it?’ It was pointed out. The officer asked, ‘Does that sign having meaning to you?’ Laughter filled the room as the officer inspected the sign.

One last thing: It seemed the club management had never heard of Audrey’s catering. When the snobs were asked about Audrey’s catering none of them had ever heard of it either. The investigating Officer wrote down in his report as a heading: ‘A mix up at Belvedere Country Club,’ which became the headline in the local paper the next day. A remark also in that article was: ‘Messy contents slipped by the members of the Belvedere Country Club only to reappear at the dinner table.  Breeze said to me:  ‘Well, those uptown snoots got theirs but the satisfaction was all in the knowing that sometimes when it is all said and done there is an equalizer. It comes in the form of having enough and then doing something about it.’  Breeze paused and then said: ‘Sometimes the balance is tipped in our favor and boy did we shine. I feel like having my favorite sundae; you coming, Jane? I’m buying.’ “

Of course the girls from the other side of the tracks would lay low for a while. Eventually things slowed down and the matter was forgotten. Jane’s daughter looked at her mom and said, “I sure would like to meet Breeze.  She is some smart cookie.” Jane replied, “OK. How about next week?  She is flying in from Canada.”  “Canada?” said Jane’s daughter. “Why Canada?”  “That’s another story,” said Jane, “perhaps you can get Breeze to tell you about it.”

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