Monday, June 25, 2012

The Way Around It

Bob stopped and looked at her and she wrinkled up her nose and said:  "Now what?  Have you forgotten something?"  He laughed and said:  "My self and all the selfs I have carried around until I met you."
She was laughing now.  She kicked off her shoes, walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek. He held her tight and said:  "Thanks for rescuing me."  She was taken back but quickly said,  "Stray cats, dogs I rescue, kid sisters and lost children,  but you came to me in the mist of the morning. Wrinkled shirt, tie off kilter and wearing a suit that needed more than pressing. You were a sight to behold, Bob.  Perhaps that is why I was watching you from the doorway of my office and you just fell over. You didn’t faint; you just keeled over and I rushed to help. The look on your face was one of disbelief. You wise cracked about falling over and said you did that once a day just to keep your hand in. It was the start of a beautiful friendship but little did I know what a difference it would make in my life.
Anyway, I helped you up and suggested you sit down on the bench outside my office while I got you a hot cup of coffee. I told you to sip it slowly as it was really hot and you just nodded and sat there staring at me until I brought the conversation around to you. 'Look my friend' I said.  'Did someone roll you in the park or were you on day out with the boys and lost your way?' There was a minute of silence and finally you said, "No, I was walking to forget and forgetting to eat and just lost track of time." I waited as you took another sip of the coffee and then you went on to say that your life was set. A good job, close friends and a sweetheart you were to marry.

The pained expression on your face then startled me as you said:  "I received a letter in the mail from Grace. "Grace" I repeated.  "Yes, she was the girl I was going to marry. It seems she had met someone and  she went on to say how it just happened.  She was very sorry but by the time I got this letter she would have been married. She added a PS: "I know it was cowardly of me but I just couldn’t face you. Please forgive me."  Signed Grace. He hesitated and then relayed that he had an uneasy feeling two weeks before they were to be married. He thought it was just the wedding jitters but thinking back, the signs were there but he wasn’t looking for them. He explained that he and Grace just sort of fell in with each other and  had a comfortable relationship but there were no bells and whistles.

He was silent again and then continued, this time speaking softly and saying more to himself than me that Grace probably felt obligated but met a guy who changed all that.  He said the embarrassment of it all with his friends and family weighed on him but he expected he could deal with it but hesitated about his own feelings.  He paused for a moment, leaving these words to trail off.  "She was special; I’m right about that."

 There was some small talk and he thanked me.  As a parting remark, I said:  "Please send me a note and let me know how you are doing."  I handed him my card and he walked away. I pondered that situation and thought. How sad to have your life planned out and then just when it was coming together to have it dashed to pieces and not even be worthy of a face to face good bye. I mused a little about how nice looking he was and then turned to get back to work.
It was a couple of weeks later that I received a call.  It was Bob.  He said he was doing fine and wanted to personally thank me and would I go to dinner with him that night so he could thank me properly. I did not know him that well so I suggested we meet for lunch at a diner near my office. It was just a safety precaution but he was up for it so the meeting was set. I gave him directions and said good bye.
I was pleasantly surprised when Bob picked me up at the office a little early. He looked so different. I discovered he had an infectious smile and a complete change in his appearance; not physically, but his countenance was brighter and he seemed at ease.

 As you can expect, we talked about our chance meeting and he expressed his appreciation again. He explained the whole situation and was dealing with it.  He had promised himself to wish the best for Grace and hope she would be happy. Then he turned away for a second and took something out of his pocket. He handed it to me.  I was taken by surprise and said, "What is this for?"  He smiled and said,  "It's just a little something for your kindness." I opened it and to my amazement, there was a small carving of him as he looked that day when he keeled over by my office. There was an inscription.  "Saving Bob.“ I laughed and really was pleased. He said that the wood carving was something he did and thought I might appreciate it. I was taken back but thanked him and remarked at how good it was. He then said something that just seemed so natural:  "Mary" he said,  "I want to have you for a friend and to see more of you." He quoted a line from a Betty Davis movie.  "You see, I don’t mind being alone I just don’t want to be lonely.”
It was easy to agree to that for I felt at ease and so did he. We began to pal around and  time went by as we really did become good friends. We liked each other and at first were very careful with our feelings.  it wasn’t long before we just enjoyed each other’s company. I asked him one day why he never asked if I was married or was seeing someone. He replied sheepishly that he had checked around, as he put it, and found out I was not seeing anyone or was married. He then confessed to liking me right off and just knew he wanted to see more of me.
Something wonderful happened that day. We became more than friends and the clincher came when he said to me: "Mary, you are more than I ever hoped for and I have found myself being happier and so much in love that I can scarcely contain it."  He then said:   "Loving you was not hard but having you for my wife is the desire of my heart and so I have this ring."
That’s as far as he got.  I threw my arms around him, half crying and half laughing and definitely saying "Yes" to the words "Will you marry me."
Oh, one more wonderful thing. He asked me at the bench outside my office. The sign on my office door made us both laugh: "Wedding planning and catering service  Mary Complete, Proprietor." 

I turned to Bob as I was remembering all these things and said. "Bob, do you know how much I love you?"  "He replied:  "Just as much as I love you." He then swept me into his arms and whispered:  "Being loved by you is filling me up."   "Stop talking" I said,  "and kiss me."

Well, there is more to this story. You see, Bob had a brother and I had a sister and the next thing you know they were announcing their marriage date. My mother was so happy she cried every time we looked at her.   Bob and his brother stood back while Mom, Judy, and I fell into each other’s arms. It was Bob’s dad who finally said:  "If that don’t beat all."  And then added,  “Bob and Eric, your folks have arrived and your mother is looking teary eyed. Maybe it’s best if we four guys retire to the porch for a while. "

I know I am going to blow the socks off this group for Bob and I also had an announcement. I was pregnant and the earth was still turning and the sun was shining and it was a great day to be alive.

A chance meeting, a difficult period turning into a lifelong commitment and the love of a good man zeroed in on me and I wasn’t about to let go.  Bob whispered to me, “I am so happy" and I replied,  "Being with you is more than I ever hoped for."

Friday, April 20, 2012

Reaching Out

I am going to write this like I was talking to my brothers and sisters of the gospel. I have a good work ethic, a heart full of faith in the gospel of Christ, an intellect that sticks with me, and common sense to save me.

I have been reaching out since I can remember. As a kid, I knew my reach was too high but I kept reaching anyway. The stars weren’t always aligned for me but what was making the difference was this simple belief that God never made any Junk. I had times when the only way I can explain it is that I could hardly reach up and touch bottom. When you find yourself an “almost ran” so many times, you lay low and wait for the rain to stop. I found out it does when you keep punching above your weight.

One day I was standing outside at a ball park staring off into the blue. I played the game with other kids but there are ball players and ball players. I was benched and the sun wasn’t shining but as the fellow says: “I can’t guarantee my success. All I can do are the right things to deserve it.” It makes me feel good to this day. I thought to myself: “Now you’re talking in my good ear.”

There is much to think about when you’re a kid. You imagine your way by thinking of all the possibilities that could happen. There wasn’t a nickel to rub together so you behaved as if you had a million dollars. What that means is you got together with your friends and did all the things kids do. You rode the best horse and were the hit of the parade as it wound its way down Main Street. The crowd cheered when you and your horse came into sight. You were wearing the clothes of a warrior and your horse pranced and snorted in a fashion that thrilled all who watched. Your friends were right there with you as they took the lead in their own fantasies. When the trumpets stopped and the fanfare faded, we fell exhausted from our efforts to be best of show and the King of the Hill.

I was feeling sorry for myself one day when a voice interrupted my thoughts. I looked up and there was a Salvation Army lady calling my name. “Hello, Digby,” she said. I asked her how she knew my name. She replied in a very proper voice, “I inquired about you and the Lord led me to you.” We were not a religious family so her mention of the Lord gave me a peculiar feeling. I watched her for a moment. She was wearing a Salvation Army Bonnet and had tied a scarf over it and then under her chin. The reason was obvious for she had driven up in an open air jeep and the wind was whipped up by the speed. She began to talk to me like I was an old friend and before I knew it we were laughing and carrying on like we had known each other for years. I asked her why she was interested in me. She said, “Because the Lord is interested in you.” She explained that Heavenly Father loved all of his children and reached them through people like her. She was a Major in the Salvation Army and wanted us to be friends. She followed that up by asking if she could talk to my parents about a youth program she thought I would enjoy. I looked at her and said: “I don’t know; my mother doesn’t care much for church stuff.” She replied, “That’s ok; let’s go and talk to her.”

When the Major told my mother about the youth program I could see the fire in my mother’s eyes. She began to tell the Major all about people who were religious and said many things that were not complimentary and fired off a couple of examples that were zingers and ended with a mention about hypocrites in the churches.

I swallowed hard and looked toward the Major. The Major began to speak in a very friendly way and did not let the things my mother said bother her. What followed was an understanding heart and an appreciation for my mother. Before it was all done, my mother agreed to look into this youth program. I couldn’t believe it for my mother never had a good thing to say about church folks.

What followed was a series of times that the Major picked me up in her jeep and transported me to the Salvation Army Building to be part of their program. My mother said it was OK for me but to leave the rest of her kids alone. Turns out the Salvation played a role in one of my sister’s lives too. Anyway, the Major would often come looking for me and would call out: “Digby, my boy, where are you?” I would answer: “I’m over here Major. “ She would yell back: “I’m coming, my boy.”

So often I will think back and I can hear her calling my name and I think to myself, “ I’m here, Major, and I miss you so.” The Major drifted in and out of my life right into my late twenties.

I remember before I met the Major I would go to the church on the corner. Meaning, I would find a church near where I lived. I would get up on Sunday mornings before the family was awake and go down to the church, especially in the summer, and sit outside by the an open window to listen to the singing and the preaching. I was drawn to it like a pin to a magnet. Perhaps that’s why my mother was more lenient with me; I don’t know. She gave me more latitude and when I joined the Mormon Church I went to tell her about it. She stared at me for a long time, or it seemed so. She finally said to me, “OK, but don’t get sanctimonious on me.” I said, “OK, Mom, but I don’t know what that means.” That is the first time I ever saw my mother just break out into a hilarious laugh and I could hear her laughing even after she left me to wonder what was so funny.

Well, I never preached to her but once she told me that I better not. There were people reaching out to me through my youth. I can’t say I was religious but I can say I was fond of the Major and perhaps that is why I allowed the Missionaries to speak with me and to teach me. It was not a fit for the Major but she let it be and we remained friends.

The church lifted me up and gave me a reason to hope. It filled up my empty spaces and allowed me to see farther down the road than I ever had. I began to not worry about anything I was missing and settled into being part of this great gospel plan. Time and time again I was driven to my knees and petitioned the good Lord on behalf of my family, my friends and my brother and sister. I have had the wonderful feeling ever since I joined the church of quiet assurance the gospel is true. It was reinforced so many times when, in the still of the night, I came to grips with the struggles of life. I found myself more aware of divine intervention and I never have regretted following in the footsteps of the Savior. When my head was bowed and my forgiveness complete, I started again and sought out the answers and the direction I needed. To brothers and sisters of the church who so often were such examples to me, I find no way but to say thank you for your lives and your faith.

Down through the years the steps have at times been unsteady but never faltering and I know that is because I found strength in all the gospel had to offer. There were times that the sweet promise of the Savior carried me off to obedience and the distance I had to go was filled up with the recognition of greater good and complete witness to the truths of the gospel.

Digby